School's a Nightmare!
by Terra Alchemist
Summary: Roy Riza and Maes are back in grade school, so what will 3 angry guardians do when their kids are being harrassed at school?


**School's a Nightmare!**

"Mommy, I don't wanna go to school..." Roy buried his face into his pillow and refused to get up as his mother turned on the lights. "Come on, sleepy head, out of bed!" Roy wailed and burrowed further down into his bed. "No way!"

"Come on!" she grabbed his waist and tried to pull him out, but he dug his fingers into the mattress and clung to it fiercely, adamant on staying in bed. "I don't wanna go!" he wailed louder.

"Why not? School's not that bad, and you get good grades..." She exclaimed, trying harder to pull him out. "They always pick on me at school, and nobody likes me except Maes! I won't go!"

"Pick on you? You never told me the other kids pick on you..."

Roy sniffed. "Well they do!"

"My poor little baby..." she sighed, patting his head. Roy growled at her and flailed his arms, trying to squirm away. "Mommy! Don't pat me!" She laughed and stroked his hair gently. "Okay, big man. You're just like your daddy." he looked at her defiantly, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Good! I wanna be just like Daddy!"

"Then you'll be the next Flame Alchemist, won't you?"

"Yeah!"

She had captured his enthusiasm and managed to lure him out of bed and into the bathroom, where she promptly dumped him into the shower. "Now wash up and we'll talk about school, okay?"

Roy sulked again. "Okay..."

After he came back down, he slouched in a chair and started stuffing cereal into his mouth. "Where's Daddy?" he asked through a mouthful of food, eyeing the door warily, not wanting to leave. "Daddy's gone off to work early, he _is _a Brigadier General after all."

"But so are you, Mommy."

"Yes, but you shouldn't tell anyone, Roy."

"I know... but... they say I don't have a mommy... and I do!"

"Well you know you do, so why should you care?"

"They say bad things about you... and Daddy. And they're all bigger than me..."

"I'll talk to your Daddy about it, okay? He'll do something, I'm sure."

"Okay... but..."

"But what?"

He stirred the contents of his bowl with his spoon, suddenly anxious.

"Don't tell Daddy..."

"Why ever not, Roy?"

"He'll think I'm weak..."

"No, oh Roy don't think that. He's always there when you get hurt, and he always picks you up, that's what fathers are for. He wants to protect you Roy!"

"But..."

"You're just a child... you're scared he won't like you or something?"

"Yeah... I'm scared he'll go away and not come back... you and Daddy have been shouting a lot lately..."

"No, honey... even Daddy and I have to fight sometimes, it's okay. Nobody's leaving, I promise. It's just... you're going to be having a baby sister soon, and Daddy's a little worried."

"That's it?" he queried.

"That's it," she assured him. "Anything else?"

"...I want to talk to Daddy about it..."

She held out her hand to him and he picked his bag off of the couch. "Tell you what. We'll walk by the pets store on the way to East Headquarters, then we'll go and get Daddy, okay?"

Roy nodded brightly. "Can we get a puppy?"

"I'm allergic to them, Roy..."

"Aww... a kitty then?"

"We'll see."

He took her hand and bounced out the door happily. "Mommy, why is it bad that you and Daddy are married?"

His mother's grip on his hand tightened for a second, then relaxed.

"There's a rule called Fraternization, Roy. It says that two people in the military cannot develop a relationship because it'll interfere with work. If anyone finds out, they'll seperate Mommy and Daddy."

"What happens to me?" Roy asked, afraid again.

She stroked his hair gently and shushed him. "I don't know, baby, I don't know... they might make you stay with only one of us..."

"So if I went with Daddy, I couldn't see you again?"

"That's right."

"I have an awful lot to worry about, Mommy."

"I know... so do we, Roy."

She entered East HQ and Roy sat down near the door to wait for her return.

She waved to the secretary. "Good morning, Brigadier General Durandal. You were a little late today."

"Yes... I had something to take care of at home; family problems."

"Oh, I see. Brigadier General Mustang is waiting for you in his office, getting behind on paperwork as usual. I hope you can set him to work, Ilia."

She laughed and assured that she would try, then rushed up to her husband's office, knocking on the door before pushing it open. Brigadier General Leroy Mustang was proud enough of his rank, but loathed the paperwork as much as he was proud. His cheek was in his hand, pen twirling idly in the other, large onyx eyes scanning the room in search of a distraction. He shook his head quickly as if to erase thoughts of distraction, short dark hair swinging. He looked like Roy in almost every aspect, the only difference between them being that he was much heavier, obviously, and his eyes not of the same shape and size. Roy's eyes had been the only thing he had inherited from his mother.

"Oh God, Ilia, what took so long? I was about to go crazy in here, where have you been?" She laughed and his brows furrowed and he bristled a bit. "What?"

"Were you sleeping on your papers again?"

"Maybe," he said.

"You have ink on your face, my dear Brigadier General." his hand flew to his face and rubbed off some ink, and he sighed. "I have to stop falling asleep on my work, but I'm just so tired..." to emphasize his point he leaned back in his chair and stretched for a bit, then looked out of the corner of his eye. "Is that Roy?" he asked. Roy was petting a stray puppy on the street and leading it out of the road.

"Yes, he's the reason I couldn't get out of the house on time," she said, taking a cloth from her pocket and grabbing him to wipe the ink smudges off of his face. Once he was cleaned, she laid off and examined him. "There, isn't that better?"

"I dunno. I couldn't feel anything with ink on my face, and now I feel raw. I preferred the ink."

She sighed and sat on the edge of his desk, stretching her legs, and he examined her carefully. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked finally. "I'm sorry I... got angry last night. It's not your fault, it's mine."

"Well I don't know, Mr.Mustang, are we keeping it?" he looked surprised at her question.

"Of course! That is, if you want to. I'm really sorry about last night, Ilia, I am... and if you never want to see me again, I understand..." he looked at his papers guiltily and she slipped off the edge of his desk to stand next to him. "You listen here, Leroy," she said, and he looked up immediately. "I know you were angry... it's okay, you weren't expecting it. But that garbage about never seeing you again..." she kissed him fiercely and his eyes widened, surprised again. "Don't say it again, okay?" He nodded and he smiled.

"So what took so long, exactly?"

"Roy didn't want to go to school."

"Why not? He usually has no problem in going..."

"He says the kids at school are picking on him."

"Oh dear God, I can only imagine."

She tilted her head and he got up from his chair, examining his son from the window where he was playing happily with two puppies now. "Heh, animal magnet, isn't he?" He smiled proudly. "You take care of this paperwork, don't worry, I did more than it looks like I did. I'll take care of him, okay?"

She nodded. "I got him a present as well... it's in the car. You'll be alright in an office full of men, Ilia?" he asked, jokingly. She smiled and kissed him again. "Of course... they'll have an angry Flame Alchemist to answer to if anything happens, hmm?"

"Yep, nobody gets by me," he said, waving to her over his shoulder as he exited the room. Colonel Hughes peeked around a door and waved at Leroy. "What's got you out of the office, Leroy?"

"Bad news at Roy's school, what about you, Hughes?"

"Same thing for Maes."

Riza's grandfather, another Brigadier General, joined them. "Ah, my little Riza as well."

"Man, what's with that school, huh? Three angry guardians on the same day can't be good for their reputation."

"I would think not," Hughes murmured.

General Hawkeye waved off the secretary and told her that they would be gone for a short while, and stepped out of the building. Roy looked up as the two puppies scampered away. "Daddy!" he jumped at Leroy and he was lifted up in the air. "What's up, Junior? Name calling at school?"

"Yeah..."

"Don't worry about it. I got you a present in the car that'll cheer you up." Leroy unlocked the doors and the four of them climbed in; Leroy in the driver's seat, Hughes in the passenger seat, and Hawkeye and Roy in the back with the mysterious box that said 'Oranges'.

"Can I open it Daddy?"

"Sure you can."

Roy opened the top and a black kitten bounced out, licking his face. "Ah! Kitty!" he hugged the kitten. "He smells like oranges..."

"Well he _is _in an orange box," Hawkeye pointed out.

"I'll name him... Belcini!"

"Meow!"

The car stopped in front of the school and Roy looked at it with dread. "Waaah... it's evil..."

"Are you Riza and Maes in this together, Son?"

"Yeah... they call Maes Four-Eyes... and I have no idea what they call Riza, but she's always upset..."

"And you?"

He hunched in his seat with Belcini. "Horsie-Boy... they said I look like a horse."

Hughes nodded knowingly at Leroy. "Mustang, that must be it. That's not a nice thing to say..."

"And they insult you about Mommy too, don't they Roy?" Roy nodded and scrubbed a tear from his cheek. Hawkeye patted his shoulder gently. "It's alright... everyone is called names at some point in their life, but the oppressed become stronger, little one."

"Thanks Mr.Hawkeye... but what does oppressed mean?"


End file.
